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Amy: Woo-hoo! You guys! Party on the highway! 
Tina: Well, it’s not — it’s not really a party, just beer spilled all over the road— 
Amy: Spilled beer on the road! Who’s comin’ with me? 
Tina: It’s not that fun! Just like the bottles broke, the beer just, you know, was in the dirt-
Amy: Yeah! I’m gonna drink beer dirt in Maryland! 
Tina: Alright, sorry. 
Amy: Party highway! 
Tina: It’s not a party! 
Amy: If you come, it’s a party! 
Tina: Alright, I’ll go. But this is the last time that I suck beer out of dirt with you.
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Amy: Woo-hoo! You guys! Party on the highway! 

Tina: Well, it’s not — it’s not really a party, just beer spilled all over the road— 

Amy: Spilled beer on the road! Who’s comin’ with me? 

Tina: It’s not that fun! Just like the bottles broke, the beer just, you know, was in the dirt-

Amy: Yeah! I’m gonna drink beer dirt in Maryland! 

Tina: Alright, sorry. 

Amy: Party highway! 

Tina: It’s not a party! 

Amy: If you come, it’s a party! 

Tina: Alright, I’ll go. But this is the last time that I suck beer out of dirt with you.

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Stilettos and broken bottles.


I write "EAT THE PRESS" for the Huffington Post. Sometimes you will find me at The Awl.


All rights reserved. All calls answered in the order they were received. All apologies.

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